Anyone married will tell you, “Marriage is not easy”. Married couples are two entirely different people, with different personalities who will live their lives together. Obviously, at some point, differences, disagreements, and misunderstandings will arise.

Some people get past these challenges, others are not that lucky and end up parting ways. If you feel that your marriage is in danger of failing it might be time to seek help. Sometimes, all you need is an unbiased perspective and advice of a third person.

A marriage intensive retreat with a good marriage therapist has the tools and expertise to help you and your spouse through your issues. Granted, it does not work all the time. Nevertheless, it is one of the best things to try to save your marriage. So what exactly do you get from marriage counseling at a weekend couples retreat?

A non-judgmental environment that offers privacy

A retreat is a neutral ground for both you and your spouse. This is a place where you can pour your heart out without fearing any judgment. You can freely say all your issues without worrying about the whole neighborhood knowing your struggles the following day.

Marriage counselors at intensive retreats are professionals who will keep whatever you share with them private. They will also not judge you based on what you say. Therefore, this is the best forum to talk things out with your spouse.

Your counselor would usually set some ground rules and allow you and your spouse to share your feelings and concerns with each other. You air out your issues with one another and talk it out. Why do you need a counselor just to talk? Your counselor acts as a moderator and keeps things in control. He or she will make sure that each of you gets a chance to share his/her side without getting into an intense argument.

The goal of the counselor is to create open communication between spouses and get some progress in repairing your rocky relationship.

Innovative Method and Tools

A counselor’s job does not stop at just facilitating and moderating talks between spouses. We all know that not everything can be resolved by talking.

A good marriage counselor utilizes innovative methods and provides tools as well as tips to the couple. This ensures that even outside of the office and without the presence of the counselor, the therapy still goes on. Your counselor might ask you to try different conversational communication approaches when talking to each other. 

Alternatively, he/she can give you homework like spicing up things again in bed or take an out of town vacation together. He/she can also ask you to make some changes in your daily routine to improve your relationship with your spouse.

Regardless of the method your counselor used, these are gems designed to help your strained marriage. Therefore, make sure to continue using it even after your therapy is over. Those gems might just be the stones that you can use to build a stronger foundation for your marriage.

Helpful and Objective Advice

When a marital problem arises, most people share their issues with friends or family members to get some advice. Talking to friends and family is actually good since you get release whatever pent up stress, frustration or anger you have been holding. Whether you want to admit it or not though, you want them to take your side. Most often than not, no matter how good their advice is it comes with a little prejudice.

A good marriage counselor, on the other hand, is a stranger who does not know anything about you or your spouse. He/she is totally an outsider in your life. Therefore, he/she is not in a position to make any judgment nor play favorites.

You definitely would not want to hear your mother in law’s thoughts about your marriage. Regardless of what she says, you will always think that it is in your spouse’s favor. Your spouse would have the same thoughts for obvious reasons.

On the other hand, knowing that you have a person who can give you objective and unbiased opinion will help you readily open up and share your thoughts. Your counselor can also give you advice based on the facts you provided rather than whom he/she knows best.

Amazing Outsider’s Perspective

Sometimes, both spouses focus too much on their issues with each other that they fail to see the whole picture. This is where the marriage counselor comes in. The ability to look at the situation from a completely different perspective without any prejudice or bias is actually, what you pay for in a counselor.

Your counselor is a fresh pair of eyes who just listens to your issues and observes how you deal with each other. They build their study based on their observations and formulate methods to help you resolve your issues.

Of course, these counselors are not just your typical observer. They have the knowledge, expertise, and experience in helping couples like you fix their marriage. Yes, each couple is different and what might work for the others might not work for you. Good counselors would customize their methods based on the needs of the couple. They will use those experiences to come up with a better plan in helping you.

Conclusion

Once again, marriage is not easy. It is something you and your spouse need to work on continuously. There would always be ups and downs in your relationship. That is why your vow is “for better or for worse” because you acknowledge that there will be difficult times.

At the end of the day, what is important is that you try your hardest to make your marriage work. If things get tough, do not give up easily. Rather, know when it is time to get help. It is not something to be ashamed or afraid of.  Marriage counselors are there to help and never to judge who between the couple is wrong.

If your marriage is at its breaking point, find a marriage counseling retreat and reach out to them for help.