Emotional affairs can creep up out of nowhere. One minute you’re just friends with this other person, the next you’re telling them everything and want to spend all your spare time by their side.
You may never have crossed the line into something physical, but emotional affairs are still wrong and painful for the people involved. This article will help you to understand what an emotional affair is, and whether you may have inadvertently entered into one.
Here are six signs you are currently having an emotional affair…
For some reason or another, you don’t want to share these things with your partner. You would rather share them with your ‘special friend’. Whilst it is normal to want to share things with your friends, your partner in life should be the first person you want to share news with.
If you find this happening, take a step back. Think about why you want to tell your friend this information before your partner. If you are your partner are having troubles, you can work through these without turning to somebody else for emotional support.
Any issues within your relationship should be discussed between you and your significant other. Marriages are between two people, not three, for a reason. Badmouthing your partner to this friend can send the wrong signals, that you want out of your relationship.
This can lead to the next step being made, to physical cheating. Stop before the damage is done. Speak to your partner. There is no excuse for cheating. If your relationship with your husband isn’t working out, you can pursue other relationships once you have broken up.
This can only end in disaster. You are comparing somebody you have been with for a long time, to someone you perceive to be new and interesting. Remember, the person you are in an emotional affair with, you do not know nearly as well as your partner.
They may have habits, traits or attitudes that you dislike, you just don’t know them well enough to have seen these yet. The grass is not always greener. It is unfair to make comparisons when your partner is not aware you are even having doubts. Open communication between you and your partner will help you to figure out what next steps you need to make in your own relationship.
If you feel like you have to keep parts of this friendship a secret from your partner, then you know you’re doing something shady. If you end up lying to your partner about your relationship with this other person, you’re in deep and need to get out of there.
This could be anything from deleting text messages or lying by omission. Keeping secrets in a marriage or relationships is unhealthy and will shake the foundations.
You feel like he understands you in a way your partner doesn’t. As a result of this you end up craving more and more attention from this person. It is nice to be understood, but you have to wonder whether you friend understands you more at this time because you are sharing more with him than you are with your partner. It is hard for your partner to ‘get’ you if he doesn’t even know what is going on in your life.
This is especially common if you work together. You often will develop that bond pretty quickly, which then grows as you spend more and more time together. The time you then get to spend with your partner will probably be on the boring things, like chores.
It can be easy to get swept up in something new and fun, but if you’re in a relationship, it just isn’t right.
The dividing line between platonic friends and something more than this, can be slim.
Flirting can lead to something more very quickly and the lines between friendship and sexual intimacy can become crossed with the blink of an eye. Think about how you would feel if your partner was doing this to you. That is how you know what you are doing is wrong. Relationships are hard work, but when the work is put into them they can continue to grow and develop beautifully.
If you find yourself in an emotional affair, the best thing you can do is cut it off at the source. If you feel ashamed of any part of the relationship, then you can guarantee it is wrong. It is never ever too late to work on the relationship with your partner. You could begin by seeing a professional counselor, taking some time alone together and begin to open the lines for more successful communication between the two of you.