Despite the stereotype, most men enjoy being married as much as their wives do. There’s something wonderful about finding that one person who just gets you. There is quite a bit of value in a lifelong partnership, and there are plenty of studies to corroborate that happily married couples live a more fulfilling life.
With marriage comes change. There are some changes that are great, while there are other changes that can be very difficult. Those changes that are difficult aren’t the more adult aspects like mortgages, bills, and other family responsibilities. The change that can be the most difficult to deal with is the shift in one’s sex life.
When you are in the early stages of a relationship, the sex is a valued aspect of the relationship (as it should be). The problem is when your wife, who at one time had a very healthy sexual appetite, starts to become more and more disinterested in sex.
That change, whether it happens over time or immediately after you say “I do” can be a huge shock for a man. So, what are you to do when you find yourself stuck in a sexless marriage?
Get to the Root of the Issue
There’s nothing worse than feeling sexually frustrated in your marriage. After all, you took a vow to be with one person for the rest of your life. The problem is that a lack of intimacy can lead to a whole litany of resentments down the line.
The best relationships are those that have an open and healthy mode of communication. She is your partner in life, so you should be able to talk with her about aspects of the relationship that are not working.
This isn’t the time to let resentments come out or to point fingers. There might be a reason why her sex drive has decreased. Maybe there is stress outside the marriage, or maybe there are issues the two of you are having that might be having more of a profound impact than you realize.
You owe it to each other to get to the root of the problem in a compassionate way. Have an open discussion about your need for intimacy and listen with an open mind. If she knows she can trust you with her feelings, you will be able to flush out the issues.
Make a Decision
When you are in a sexless marriage, there will ultimately come a time when you feel the need to scratch that proverbial itch. While the excitement of an affair might seem plausible, especially when your own relationship is lacking in intimacy, it is not always the most logical course of action.
Nobody deserves to be cheated on. It’s a betrayal that most relationships are not able to recover from. You need to ask yourself if being in marriage without any intimacy is something you want to endure or not.
You need to consider all your options and make a decision before things get to a point of no return. Is your marriage worth saving? If so, there are options available to repair your relationship and get it back on track. This could be just a minor hurdle on the road to a fulfilling life together.
Attend an Intimacy Retreat
If you don’t see a life without you wife, then you need to take action. There are plenty of marriage retreats available that the two of you can attend. The counselors at these retreats are trained to help you recapture the lost intimacy in your marriage. After all, there’s probably more issues at hand than just the lack of sex.
An intimacy retreat can help you recapture that passion you had when you first started dating. You can get away from the stress of your daily life and really focus on mending the broken aspects of your marriage. Odds are, with some quality alone time, you’ll reignite that passion that’s been missing and bring that positive energy home.