The journey towards marriage can be long, arduous and full of bumps in the road. Dating is a minefield, and finding the one can be a challenge.
This article will share with you ten types of men you should avoid marrying, as a good Christian woman. Hopefully this will help you to throw out the duds and find a love that is truly once in a lifetime.
1. The first type of person you should evade is the unbeliever. Marriage can be hard, but sharing a deep spiritual connection with your partner can support you through the tough times you will inevitably face.
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
2. If you find yourself falling for an abuser, run for the hills! This doesn’t necessarily mean physical abuse, although that can be a part of it. Basically, this is referring to anybody who puts you down and makes you feel less than you are. You should be with somebody who raises you up to be the best person you can be. Don’t settle for anything less.
“The Lord examines the righteous, but the wicked, those who love violence, he hates with a passion.”
3. Falling for an addict can be a mistake. People can be addicted to lots of different things; alcohol, drugs, pornography, sex, to name a few. The only way to move on from these is to admit there is a problem and to seek help. If it is in God’s plan that he will beat the addiction, that is fantastic. But don’t waste your life waiting for things to change.
““I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything.”
4. If your date cares more about his reflection than he does for you, get out of there quickly! The narcissist is not a person you want to be in a relationship with. You will always be playing second fiddle, and marriage is all about coming together as one.
“People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.”
5. A controller can make life and marriage very difficult. Their controlling tendencies may be coming from a place of love, or they may have other drivers. Either way, marriage is a partnership and neither party should be trying to control the other.
“For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.”
6. The hot-tempered, angry man will more than likely not calm down when you get married. If anything, their temper will probably become worse once the ring is on your finger. Nobody has the right to be harsh with another, words should be kind and well-meaning. Look out for signs of this in the beginning of your relationship. Does he shout at waiters when the order is wrong? Or, at you when you’re running late? If so, the warning signs are there. Keep clear.
“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered.”
7. Is your man still overly reliant on his mom? While we all love a man who loves his mama, this is different. If your man still lets his mom wash his clothes, pays his bills and makes decisions for him, then it does not sound like he is ready for a grown-up relationship.
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh?”
8. If the guy you’re dating is a flirt and a tempter, it is only a short jump to becoming a cheater. That may be what attracted you to him in the first place, everyone loves a charmer. But be aware of what he is acting like around others. Once settled into a relationship, his flirty behaviour with others should stop. Use your wisdom to decide whether it is harmless flirting, that can be stopped, or something more sinister.
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.”
9. A liar is a no-no when it comes to marriage. Marriages should be built on honesty and truth. Whether your man is telling little white lies, lies by omission, or gigantic lies, the message is clear… the foundations for this marriage are not strong.
“A false witness will not go unpunished, and whoever pours out lies will perish.”
10. The destructive partner will not make a good husband. Whether he has destructive money habits, or work habits – these traits will become magnified in marriage. Being a workaholic can cause major stress for a family, but so can being in insurmountable debt. Pay attention to your partner’s behaviours, if you find that things often go wrong at his own hand, this could cause major problems in the future.
“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”
It can be hard to think that the person you are dating might not be the one. But remember, it is better to get out of something that will spiral out of control before it gets to that point. Marriage is always going to be a challenge, and everybody flaws. You need to decide whether these flaws are something you can cope with for the rest of your life. Hopefully this article will help you to think about what you want in a relationship and set you on the path for victory.